I love masculine energy.
The thing I love most about my husband is that he’s not a woman. He doesn’t think like me, act like me or speak like me. There’s something about masculinity that I completely and utterly adore and desire. Masculine energy is my jam. It’s the perfect balance to my feminine energy.
I know we live in a modern society where men and women are viewed as equals. Which is super kick ass — but you can be equals and still keep your feminine energy while allowing him to keep his masculine energy. Women can be equals to men while still being different.
I’ve always had these feelings but didn’t understand why until I read something from Tony Robbins about masculine and feminine energy and how polarity is what creates attraction. Both men and women possess masculine and feminine energy. It’s not necessarily gender specific. Both sexes have masculine and feminine energy at varying levels.
Masculine energy traits: Focused, goal-oriented, strong, driven.
Feminine energy traits: Fluid, nurturing and receptive.
A person that is full of only masculine energy would be almost emotionless. They need some feminine energy to be a loving, caring partner. The opposite is true of a person that is full of only feminine energy. They would be overly emotional and would solely act on that emotion. They need some masculine energy to be more objective. Both sexes possess both traits to varying degrees.
When I started dating Rob, I never offered to pay. It frankly never even crossed my mind. I wanted to be wowed and any man that couldn’t wow me wasn’t getting my attention. Subconsciously this was probably a desire to be taken care of (a feminine energy trait).
He was telling me (without speaking the words), “I’m strong and driven. I can take care of you,” and I was “receptive” and “fluid” by not even getting into a conversation or mentioning anything about paying the bill. This created that polarity that’s so important in attraction and maintains it long-term. His masculine energy wasn’t questioned and my feminine energy stayed intact.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE women. I love their beauty. I love their ability to nurture and care for others like no one else can. I love their instinctual nature for harmony.
I love my feminine energy. I love being a woman and I’m going to own it. I love making my house feel like a home. I loved being home with my kids when they were little and I love that Rob takes care of all us in a way only he could. I also love that no one gets to tell me how I need to think, feel and act. I get to have the best of both worlds by harnessing both my feminine and masculine energy.
When I decided to launch Forty Young almost two years ago, Rob was none too happy about it. That was too bad — I did it anyway. My views about masculine and feminine energy don’t make me a stepford wife stuck in the 50’s. I had to acknowledge that while I wanted to start my own business, Rob’s masculine energy struggled with it. He didn’t “get it.” He was the provider and he had provided really well….what else could I possibly want? You can read a little more about those struggles here .
I knew to make the situation work I had to keep my femnine energy in check. He still needed to see me as the loving, nurturing mother and wife. This is where I think most of our marital problems stemmed from. He felt like the polarity of energy we once shared was going to go away. It took him awhile to see that I could still keep my feminine energy that was very appealing to him and run Forty Young at the same time.
I’d be lying if I said that Rob miraculously “found” some more feminine energy. He’s still very much dominated by masculine energy. It’s a part of who he is. He’s adapted and accepted the small shift, but as a couple we still have that polarity that’s so important.
To be honest, I wouldn’t be attracted to him after 20 years if he suddenly started having lots of feminine energy. That’s what I have my girlfriends for. I love that when we take walks and he moves me to the inside of the sidewalk. I love that he carries the heavy stuff in the house. I love that he gets just a little closer to me when things seem “off” to him.
As you might know by now, we just bought a new house in Delray Beach, Florida. It’s a second home that we settled on a little over a week ago. We had nothing in it. Like, not even toilet paper. We’ve spent the last week or so dividing and conquering. I love that he deals with the yard work and the house maintenance stuff. I’d much rather be shopping for dishes or decorating, making our house feel like a home. He did have fun coming to Target with me, but only because he knew it was important to me (and I needed his muscles).
Men and women are different. That difference is what creates attraction. Attraction is what will keep your relationship solid forever. People will tell you it’s “being with your best friend” or “someone you can count on” but I disagree. Attraction is what keeps relationships healthy and not just existing. No matter what the balance of masculine-feminine energy looks like with your significant other, keeping it dynamic and just that – in balance – is bound to strengthen your relationship. It’ll set a solid foundation for years of fun to come.
