These 10 bits of advice for women are for my twenty-something ladies. Your twenties, especially your early twenties, are tricky. I’m no expert in life, nor do I claim to be, but I’ve learned a lot of things along the way during my 41 years. With age comes clarity, from making mistakes you wish you didn’t and from making good choices that you’re glad you did. I’ve been through my share of relationship advice and learning from the past, and I’d like to share that with you all.
One of the reasons I started this blog was to connect and build a community of women for and of all ages. We all have so much to learn from one another. I love spending time with my 22-year-old daughter and her friends. I love hearing their thoughts and insight and vice versa. They “keep me young” and I get to give them relationship advice and other guidance that I learned through a lot of trial and error.
Those icky feelings you get with a certain guy? Valid. The gnawing feeling of not being comfortable somewhere? Valid. Your intuition is your biggest ally. All the relationship advice in the world doesn’t replace your own intuition. “Intuition is real. Vibes are real. Energy doesn’t lie. Tune in” — (unknown).
Shake hands with some oomph. I don’t care if you’re a woman; shake someone’s hand like you mean it. Nothing screams “insecure” more than a limp, weak handshake.
If I could give any marriage advice, it’d be that if you get married young, under the age of thirty, enjoy your marriage for a few years before adding kids into the mix. Children change your life in an indescribable way. You need a strong foundation in your marriage that will allow you to work together through those early baby/toddler years. I repeat: enjoy each other and grow together before having children.
An important piece of dating advice for women: do not chase a man. Ever. Men are hunters. If they want you, you will know. There are zero exceptions to this. A man that disappears *all day* (not just a few hours ladies!) because he’s “too busy working” is full of shit. You were not a priority. In today’s world, it takes less than ten seconds to send a text like, “Babe, crazy day today. As soon as I get off, I’ll touch base with you. Hope you’re having a great day.” We all speak with our actions, not our words.
Spend time with your grandparents. If you still have them around in your twenties, consider yourself lucky. Take them to lunch, play cards with them, have a cup of coffee or tea and just chat. You are the light of their lives. It means everything to them. No one, not even your parents, loves you the way your grandparents do. I wish I could spend one more afternoon with my gram. I miss her dearly.
Don’t say you’re sorry unless you’re saying it because the situation warrants it. I don’t know where this comes from, but women in general apologize far too often in life. I was recently with my oldest and she apologized because someone ran into her! Don’t do it. On the other hand, if you’ve messed up, own up and apologize. We’re all human and make mistakes. Saying you’re sorry is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of self-awareness and strength to admit when you’re wrong.
If you feel like something is wrong with your health and you’re brushed aside by your doctor because you’re too young, be the squeaky wheel. Insist that your doctor run tests and get to the bottom of whatever issue you’re having, or get medical advice elsewhere. Women in their twenties do unfortunately get diagnosed with breast cancer and other diseases. One of the most important tips for women’s health: be your biggest health advocate.
Spend time with your girlfriends. Once everyone gets married and starts having kids, it takes a small miracle to all gather somewhere without children and husbands. Enjoy the gift of free time and spend it with your girls whenever you can.
Before you know it, you’ll be seeing each other once a year and writing 5-page itineraries to go away for a long weekend.
More good relationship advice: Men should take you on actual dates and you should not pay or even offer to pay. I might get in trouble with this one. A quality guy will not invite a woman to “come over and watch a movie” or ask her to pay or split a bill if he is genuinely interested in her, especially in the early stages of a relationship. Certainly, a man with relationship intentions wants to attract you and court you and you should let him.
Being a gentleman is not a lost art. It may be rare, but it does exist. If a man invites you to his house for a first date, know that he has no intention of taking you seriously. My dating advice is to let him know you’d love to see him, but that you expect a proper date, or dates, before it’s time to “Netflix and chill”. Ladies, you hold all the cards. Set the tone for the relationship from the start. If he doesn’t get this very simple concept, you’re dealing with a boy. Move on, do so quickly, and do not waste your time or energy.
Wear at least SPF 50 sunscreen on your face, neck and chest. If you choose to go lighter elsewhere, still know these places are essential. These are the areas people see first when you meet them. Invest in your future face. Sunless tanners and bronzers are amazing these days, so there is no excuse.
