Having two babies thirteen months apart is hard on your body. Let’s be real, pregnancy in general is really hard; the whirlwind of hormones, nausea, cravings, and aversions. By the way, I’ll never eat pork tenderloin again. Don’t forget the actual birthing of the tiny human you just grew for nine months either.
After Gianna was born, I quickly rebounded to within five pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight. Don’t be jealous. I would soon “pay my dues” when I got pregnant again three months after G was born. Yes, it was planned, and yes, we were crazy.
I was certain this was my last pregnancy, so I went all out and managed to gain around forty pounds over the course of those nine months. For someone that had always been on the thin side, it was a lot of weight to carry on my small frame, and I started to think about postpartum weight loss plans.
I’ll be honest, it’s not like I hated being pregnant, but I definitely don’t enjoy it. During all three of my pregnancies I counted down the days until I could have my body back. This isn’t something a lot of moms will openly admit. I have no problem saying it. I know lots of moms feel the same way, even if they don’t admit it publicly. I’m sure it’s because of the judgment from others or guilt, because as a mother, you should automatically feel warm and fuzzy about growing another human being inside your body.
It’s crazy and amazing what a woman’s body is capable of. It truly is a miracle; a miracle that concludes with a beautiful, wonderful-smelling newborn that you just want to snuggle and kiss all day long and sometimes lovingly nibble. I just happen to not enjoy the actual process of attaining said adorableness.
I just didn’t like feeling like I had no control over my own body. I constantly had pregnancy cravings, and I had zero self-control. I was exhausted taking care of an infant and a 10-year-old while my husband worked six days a week in the car business. If I was hungry and wanted pizza, I ate it. I would make my husband stop at Sheetz almost every night for a Twix bar. My son doesn’t even like Twix bars, although I assumed he would because I ate so many of them while I was still carrying him, hence my pregnancy weight gain.
I remember sitting on the couch a couple of days before the New Year. Frank was just about eight weeks old. I looked down at my belly that had been pregnant for eighteen of the last twenty-two months and I cried. I wanted my body back. This wasn’t about societal pressure to “bounce back”, or my husband pushing me to lose the baby weight (about which he never said a word). It was about me and how I felt. I didn’t like what I had let myself become. I like control and order, that feeling of being in charge of myself. I felt very out of control and wanted to lose this baby weight fast.
I decided then and there that I would start a very cliché diet change and postpartum exercise routine after the first of the year as it was just a few days away. I spent the next few days finding healthy recipes online, setting up my Fitness Pal page (which told me how many calories to consume for weight loss and had an online food tracker), and joining an amazing all-female gym that had great childcare. I had my husband’s support and he even got me a trainer for a few months. I had everything I needed to be successful.
I knew that we had a wedding for friends out of town in mid-April. It would be the first time we would leave the kids with my parents since our youngest was born. I wanted to feel confident and more like myself again. I was 160 pounds on New Year’s Day. I wanted to be 130 pounds by the time we left for that trip. They say 2 pounds a week is manageable for postpartum weight loss, so I had set a reasonable, attainable goal for myself.
I remember being really self-conscious when I first started. I had worked out in group fitness classes since I was nineteen. I was always “in shape”. It was hard, really hard at first, but I was determined and fell in love with the process. I counted calories and followed a postpartum workout routine five days a week with a 2 month-old and 15 month-old in tow.
My diet was simple. I figured out my calorie range for weight loss and tracked every single morsel of food I put in my mouth through My Fitness Pal (not getting paid to say that). One M&M counts, so I tracked it. Some might say this is extreme but when trying to lose weight after a baby (or anytime, really), every nibble, lick or spoonful does matter. Losing weight is ridiculously simple physiologically. Calories in vs. calories out. That’s it. With the exception of a few medical conditions. Once I had lost the weight and was just maintaining those M&Ms didn’t matter as much but in the weight loss phase; I’m sorry to say, they do.
April came and the out-of-town wedding came with it. I was 128 pounds and super proud of my accomplishment. I had not only met my goal, but I exceeded it. I felt amazing. I felt proud! Holla! My weight has been pretty stable since then. I’ve weighed a little more and a little less. I use some different methods for weight maintenance now (intermittent fasting; “Kelly, What Do You Eat?”) but when my pants start to feel a little snug, I’ll be more conscious about what I’m putting in my mouth.
99.9% of the “fit” people you see in day-to-day life started at the exact place you’re at right now. Don’t be intimidated and skip the gym because you’re “out of shape”. That’s why you’re going. I can’t tell you how many people tell me they’ll come to my cycle classes when they’re in “better shape.” What? This makes no sense and is completely illogical girlfriend!
I am telling this story for those out there that feel defeated. The women that long to get back to their old selves, back physically, which amazingly will transform you mentally! The ones that think they can’t do it. I understand. I truly do. I was there! Now you know I’m not just some freak of nature that magically knew how to get back in shape after having kids. Learning how to get your body back after pregnancy is tough, but you can do it too. You got this girl.
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