I think having girlfriends is vital for women but I think that having girlfriends of all different ages is just as important. Older women have the benefit of having experienced lots of life and younger women can keep us thinking and feeling young with their new ideas and excitement for what lies ahead for the future.
Last week I was in the mall and had to send a voice memo to someone. Sending texts when there’s a lot to say has become a real pain and frankly no one answers their phone anymore (including me). I am always very conscious of whispering when I’m in public when I send voice memos. So I’m walking and talking (quietly!) through Macy’s and an older woman, probably in her 70’s looks directly at me, rolls her eyes and said some very nasty curse words directly at me (way louder then my whispering, I might add).
I couldn’t believe that another woman took that kind of approach to me. Her quick to judge attitude seems to be common among older generations and how they relate to younger generations (and I’m not that young!) What she doesn’t know is that I have 2 very busy middle school aged kids so I’m working when I can, where I can as often as I can and need to. In today’s world no one really has “time off”.
This is a perfect example of the disconnect between young and old. It’s something I don’t understand, especially among women. We should be exchanging ideas and thoughts not rolling our eyes in judgment of each other. Maybe in her day things were simpler and maybe she just doesn’t understand today’s working culture. If she knew me or had a conversation with me she’d know that I’m just a working mom trying to do my very best for myself and my family.
Since I had my oldest when I was 18, when she went to college I was only 36. I was young enough to still be able to relate to her and friends but old enough that they respected my opinions (there is some wisdom that comes with age). I love that they respect what I have to say. Especially when it comes to dating and relationships.
Younger people impact my views on what is really going on in their minds and lives today. They don’t see things the way my generation does. They help me see things from other angles that I may not have seen before by having friendships with them. I also think that staying connected to younger generations keep you young. I want to live an exciting life, one that makes me feel alive. What better way to feel that way than to talk and hang out with people that are younger. They are full of energy and ideas and I feed off of it.
Jon F. Nussbaum, a professor of communication arts and sciences and human development and family studies at Penn State who specializes in generational patterns of communication agrees with me:
“There are lots of advantages when you interact with someone of a different age. If young people are listening, they get good advice, like life or career or financial advice. For an older person, they learn about what’s important to younger adults — they really learn about a different world”
From the Article by Meredith Melnick “The Age_Defying Benefits of Having Older (and Younger) Friends”)
When I first moved to our neighborhood I was one the youngest moms that lived here. I loved getting advice from the moms that I was close to about raising a teenager (Lex was only 13). It was really valuable to me. If I had just brushed off the older moms as being “know it alls” I’d have missed out on some really great advice. Now I’m that I’m an older mom it’s nice to give back to younger moms that are struggling with toddlers and preschoolers. I’ve been there, done that. I can understand it and relate. I can also reassure them that they’ll make it through those long never ending days and trade them for long never ending nights waiting for teenagers to get home.
One of the reasons I started this blog (check out this post for all of them) was to build a community of like minded peers but also a place where women younger and older than me could come together in a non judgmental environment. To offer advice, listen, take advice from and grow from. The next time you think someone older or younger then you doesn’t have something of value to add to your life, think again. It could be the beginning of an amazing relationship.
